So today was interesting but first off I realized that I need to change the amount of days I have given myself to take the weight off. Its not too realistic especially with the holidays here. I don't want to eat completely to the point of engorging sweets but I don't want to not enjoy the holiday either. So here is the revised plan. It will be 2lbs a week. Hopefully the gym can get me through this.
So this morning I woke up after the a horrible night's sleep. My two dogs wake me up twice a night to go to the bathroom. If I can't complete a full REM cycle my body can't get rid of the toxins it needs to plus I am so tired the next day. Its like I have a baby that gets up in the night. I don't need the practice. My husband never gets up to take them out so its always my responsibility. So when I woke up at 5:30 in the morning I realized that my arms and chest were beyond sore from yesterday's workout so I decided I would take a break from the weight lifting giving me an extra half hour of sleep.
I woke up and got into my car to head out to the gym. Before I left I realized my husband had my truck with my gym card but no biggie because I would have them look it up with my license.. however when I arrived I realized that I didn't have my headphones with me either and they must have been in the truck. Then I realized that my husband had Breaking Dawn in the car so I could read to keep my mind busy while I did the elliptical for 50 minutes but when I went back to the car I remembered that he brought it in to be used on the pot so I had nothing!!!
I called my mom and told her I would be over soon and would go to the gym after he got home. When I got to Mom's house we went to Costco and she kept making me try all the "fattening" sample foods like croutons and salsa and chips and junk that I didn't really need which would only add to my calorie counting.
Later I realized how tired I was when I got home at 3pm and didn't feel up to the gym and when my husband got home from work we began working on preparing our Sunday School lesson for the 15 year olds we teach and by now it was 7pm and I was giving up on my day at the gym which I shouldn't have because today was not a healthy eating day for me. I ate a cookie at my mom's house and bought these amazing truffles that are only available for the holidays and I had a few.. and by a few I had about 4 which was actually quite impressive for me but this was in no way the day that I should have had.
To top my day off when I got on the scale this morning I had actually gained 1.4lbs. I chalked it up to not having a regular bowel movement the last two days and I was just bloated but that again is probably just an excuse of a lazy, fat person. So now I need to lose more. Granted that in the last few weeks I have fluctuated this weight up and down 4 lbs but it was enough to make me want to cry. I'm writing this blog with my husband on the couch and although he can read it whenever he wants I ask him to close his eyes so he won't look at the new current weight but unfortunately he won't. So he said "I already know how much. Did you gain?" I gave him that 'I've been caught and feel ashamed smile'. He then said, "Candice you are not supposed to weigh as much as me." I about died! He's right but telling your husband how much you weigh is just not a cool thing to do. I somehow regret that part because he is the only one person I care about when it comes to how I look. I know he thinks I'm pretty but its so humiliating. However, I finally realized today that this whole blogging thing is going to be a good thing because I actually think about it the whole day and tell myself all the time that I don't want to admit that on my blog so screwing up like today I don't want to have happen again. Today just sucked!!! It had OPPORTUNITIES to grow everywhere!!! Craziness! HELP!
Goal Weight: 154 lbs by March 13th (13 weeks)
Days Left: 87
Lbs to go: 26.8
Lbs Lost: +1.4
Current Weight: 180.8
0 comments:
Post a Comment