The Stress Diet

So we were going through Jeff's things and I was trying to get rid of all of these unnecessary things that he owns and throw them away... :) when I came across this Stress Diet paper he has. It reads as of follows:

Stress Diet

BREAKFAST:

1/2 Grapefruit

1 slice whole wheat toast

8oz skim milk

LUNCH:

4oz lean broiled chicken breast

1 cup steamed zucchini

1 Oreo cookie

Herb tea

DINNER:

2 loaves garlic bread

1 large Pepporoni & Mushroom Pizza

1 large pitcher of beer (light beer- remember you are on a diet)

3 Milky Way candy bars

1 entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from the freezer

1 Diet Dessert of your choice

DIET TIPS

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.

4. Foods, such as hot chocolate, brandy, or Sara Lee Cheesecake, which are consumed for medicinal purposes NEVER count for caloric purposes

5. If you fatten up everyone around you, then you will look thinner.

6. Movie related foods don't count because they are simply part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. These foods include Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, etc.

7. Food that you do not have to pay for, such as at a party or any other social function where food is served free, is really FREE. This means that it is free of everything including calories. Remember, free food has no calories.

8. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breakage causes severe and very rapid caloric leakage.